On average, 137 women around the world are killed by a member of their own family. Every single day.
In South Africa, a woman is murdered every three hours.
Over half of the women in South Africa have experienced some form of gender-based violence.
There is, without a doubt, an epidemic of violence across the globe, and in South Africa in particular. Domestic abuse, specifically the abuse of women and minors, is so prevalent that it almost seems normal.
It should never be normal.
But how can you spot the signs of domestic abuse and, ultimately, stop this ever-growing problem?
Physical Signs
The easiest signs of domestic abuse are the physical ones. These are fairly self-explanatory but should not be confused with legitimate accidents. Victims of abuse will generally have injuries often, and incomplete or inaccurate explanations for their injuries.
Common injuries include:
- Bruised face
- Cut lips
- Black eyes
- Marks or bruises around the neck
- Injuries to the hands or wrists
- Bruises to the arms
Victims of physical abuse will often try to hide their injuries, and this can also be a sign that someone is a victim. For example, someone wearing long-sleeved shirts on hot days or sunglasses inside.
Behaviour Changes
Sometimes the signs aren’t as clear as physical injuries, but rather in the behaviour of the person. Someone who might have been outgoing and happy could become reclusive and quiet.
Some signs to look out for include:
- Isolating or cutting off contact with friends and family
- Constant, last-minute cancellations
- Expressing high privacy for matters that don’t warrant it
- Being regularly late for work or appointments
- Becoming quiet, distant and generally reserved
- Showing general signs of fear or anxiety, like flinching when someone touches them
Emotional Signs
Domestic abuse doesn’t always need to be physical. Psychological or verbal abuse can have as strong an impact on the well-being of a victim, forcing them to feel like they simply can’t escape their abuser.
Emotional signs of abuse might include:
- Sudden low self-esteem and confidence
- Depression and anxiety
- Suicidal thoughts and tendencies
- Exhaustion, fatigue or irregular sleep habits
- Self-medication with substances like alcohol and drugs
These symptoms aren’t unique to domestic abuse and may be caused by other factors. It’s important to approach any situation where mental health is concerned with caution and, where possible, with professional help.
Controlling Behaviour
Whether the abuse is physical, verbal or psychological, it ultimately results in the control of one person over another. The abuser becomes the dominant force, while the abused is steadily controlled in all aspects of their life.
Signs that someone is under the control of another could include:
- Having limited access to personal freedoms like a vehicle and money
- Limited access to other people, specifically friends and family
- Limited access to communication tools like a phone or computer
- Constant, possessive calls and texts
- Jealous or possessive behaviour
If you’re a victim of any form of abuse and need help, please know that there is help available.
Here’s how to get help:
GetSavvi Health members
Our WHISPA benefit provides immediate trauma and GBV support for GetSavvi Health members.
Can use our Member Wellness Programme for counselling, support, awareness and advice on a range of topics.
Non-GetSavvi Health members
Can contact the South African Depression and Anxiety Group (SADAG). It is Africa's largest mental health support and advocacy group. Or simply contact Lifeline South Africa for free national counselling on 0861 32 23 22.
References:
Recognising the signs of domestic abuse
Recognising domestic abuse
Signs of domestic abuse
What Are the Signs of Domestic Abuse?
Recognising the warning signs of domestic violence
Top Warning Signs of Domestic Abuse
SaferSpaces
Facts and figures: Global domestic violence numbers